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"If living doesn't change you and you can't change anyone else, there's no point talking, there's no point debating...hell, there's no point even being here!"

Anon

 
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Religion defies logic - it confirms just how primitive we really are. I'm not sure if there's actually a God or a 'supreme being' but like most people I would like to think there was some deep meaning to it all (life, that is) which is within our grasp but just eludes us. However, I recognise that thought for just what it is - 'wishful thinking'. The idea of dying and there being nothing more is scary for most people and that's why billions of people find it comforting to believe that this life must be a prelude to something else. What scares me most is the idea that, if there's nothing after death then everything we do whilst alive is actually meaningless. Moreover, there are no consequences. That's quite a subversive thought as most religious belief is predacated on the notion that there is a system of divine rewards and punishments in some sort of 'afterlife'.

Come to think of it, we'd better hope there isn't a God because, looking around at all the greed and hatred in the world, if God exists, we're all going to Hell! God's not blameless either - talk about taking your eye off the ball! If there is actually a God, he/she/it has an awful lot to answer for.....

I truly believe that whist we've developed technologically, there's a strong argument to say that we've devolved spiritually, socially and intellectually. George Carlin's words below sum up the irrationality and futility of nationalism, sectarianism and praying to a god who either doesn't exist, doesn't listen or treats petitions like I treat junkmail!

The whole idea of an omniscient, omnipotent god is rather paradoxical as, if whoever created this mess knew it was going to turn out like this, there's got to be something wrong with the design. Maybe this Universe of ours is just a blueprint of a prototype which has been screwed up and tossed into god's wastepaper basket.

The only logical conclusion I can arrive at is that, if there is a god, he/she/it must be an insane masochist with a short concentration span. That sort of explans everything really.

18th November 2012


Provocative words of wisdom from the late, great George Carlin.

17th November 2012


Young Earth Creationists believe that the Earth was created between 5,000 to 10,000 years ago by an omnipotent god who, despite his omnipotence, took 6 days and needed a day of rest after his travails. Scientific thinking (backed up by actual evidence) suggests that the Universe is over 13 billion years old and that the Earth is some 4.5 billion years old with the first life appearing 2.5 billion years ago. Some statistics say that up to 50% of adults in the USA believe creationism over the theory of evolution and frankly that worries me somewhat.

The skeleton of a Woolly Mammoth has just been found 30 miles East of Paris (not a dinosaur as that species largely died out 65 million years ago - well, either the dinosaurs died or they never existed and a mischeivous god planted some fake bones). The Wolly Mammoth is from between 200,000 and 500,000 years ago. Another one in the eye for Creationists eh? I wonder if that's why it's referred to as "blind faith"?

8th November 2012


I've always been idealistic (and maybe naive). I want a World where there's no poverty, no starvation, no territorial boundaries and therefore no inequality between countries; where we all work towards sustaining life and regard mental and physical well-being as the most important goal whilst being humble enough to admit how insignificant we may be against the backdrop of an infinite Universe; where our philosophical, moral and religious ideologies meld; where people seek riches in the form of enlightenment and happiness rather than material possessions and power; where all the people on the planet are important and even where the proverbial chicken can simply cross the road without having his motives questioned; but.......

......it ain't gonna happen! I continue to inhabit the ineffectual middle ground of 'not knowing' (and not even really wanting to know) why people are so incapable - individually and as a group - of delivering my vision and I'm being inexorably drawn to the notion that the evolutionary drive impressed deep within every human - but closer to the surface in some than others - means that we will always lie, cheat, steal, overpower, defile, rationalize, capitulate, flatter, deceive, scheme, beg, borrow and kill to further our own interests. If that is really the case, should I not try to develop myself into the ultimate sociopath?

5th November 2012


This whole 'racism' thing is getting a little tiresome. It would seem that the issues are not being addressed in general society but rather, on the football field, as recent alleged racist incidents involving Premiership footballers have prompted not only front page press comment but have sparked debates at the highest political levels.

The John Terry incident was quite fascinating. I am no fan of Terry but I thought it interesting that he is alleged to have called Anton Ferdinand a "fucking black cunt" and Ferdinand has taken umbrage, not at being called a cunt, but at that word being preceded by the word "black". The offensive term therefore appears to be the word "black" - hence the racist problem - but as offensive as that word seems to be in this context, when reported in the press, the words "fucking" and "cunt" were starred out and only the word "black" was printed in full. It's no wonder I get confused! So, just to recap, it's not a criminal offence to call someone a " fucking cunt" but it IS something the police will spend time on and which will be brought before the Courts if you call someone a "fucking BLACK cunt"?? Of course, Anton's brother Rio decides to show solidarity by 'tweeting' to his thousands of knuckle-dragging, intellectually-challenged Twitter followers and fuel is poured on the flames. Then.... horror of horrors, no-one shakes hands before the next footy match! The World is coming to an end! Terry is cleared by a criminal court and Ashley Cole is the star witness and is subsequently referred to as a "choc-ice" by Ferdinand (referring to someone black on the outside and white on the inside - surely a type of racist comment itself?) Terry is stripped of England captaincy and found guilty by the FA and fined an amount equivalent to the cost a couple of nights out and the Ferdinands are up in arms again. Apparently Rio wanted a public execution. In a fit of pique, the Ferdinands refuse to wear the specially designed warm-up t-shirts promoting the FA's anti-racism campaign as they feel the campaign is window dressing. Other players jump on the bandwagon. There's talk of a 'Black Football Players Association' (that's not at all devisive is it?) OOooh, it's all kicking off now (and not a football in sight!) It's all fucking nonsense and these folk ought to get some sort of perspective. I know that it can't be nice being called names but get a grip for fuck's sake! I've been called all sorts of names in the past. Admittedly, I'm not black but I've been called a lanky, big-nosed twat and I'd be lying if I said that wasn't hurtful but I wouldn't dream of reporting that to the police and I'd get short shrift if I did. It seems illogical to me that my complaint would be taken seriously if I were to be called a "lanky, big-nosed, BLACK twat".

Also, what is it with this term "black"? Unless I'm going colourblind, I haven't seen a black man yet (with the possible exception of a coal miner coming to the surface after a shift at the pit face). They're fucking shades of brown! I'm not even sure Ferdinand can lay claim to being black. I've seen Essex girls with more of a tan than him. People are people and we should all be treated equally. I've said before, I don't care if someone is black, brown, yellow, white, mixed race or fucking green as long as they are contributing, as I am trying to do in my own insignificant way, to the greater good of the society which we are all a part of. However, I am left with the very uncomforatble feeling that people of colour who clearly have a very large chip on their shoulders and who seem to want, not equal, but SPECIAL treatment, are actually creating a racist problem and are themselves more racist than their caucasian counterparts. That does not apply to all people of colour of course, just the ones who wear it like a badge!

Track forward to Sunday the 28th October. Chelsea v Man Utd at Chelsea. Referee Mark Clattenburg is involved in some questionable decisions and is pounced upon by the furious Chelsea players. Words are exchanged and Mata is allegedly told to "go away you Spanish twat" (although Clattenburg could have just been telling Mata of his forthcoming holiday plans involving going away to his Spanish flat in Benidorm) and Nigerian John Obi Mikel is allegedly called a "monkey". This sparks total outrage - not initially from Mikel (who didn't hear what the ref said) but from Mikel's team mate Ramirez (who asked Mata what the ref had said as his English isn't too good). Ramirez then tells Mikel that Clattenburg has used "inappropriate language" and Mikel goes fucking ballistic. It all kicks off again in the referee's dressing room and there is now an investigation under way by the Metropolitan Police (as, of course, they've nothing more important to do). The Met inquiry is not as a result of a complaint by Chelsea (who've lodged their complaint with the Football Association) but, believe it or not, a complaint from the Society of Black Lawyers. What?!?! Were they there? What the fuck's it got to do with them.

I am beginning to despair of all this. In my opinion, one millionaire calling another millionaire names in the middle of playing a game doesn't rank up there with sorting out the real ills of the World. ALL Premiership footballers are spoiled, selfish, dumbass, egocentric, primadonnas and, irrespective of whether they're black, white or somewhere in between, they should all go and fuck themselves!

1st November 2012


Andrew Mitchell, the Tory Chief Whip has finally resigned. I don't particularly take issue with his swearing at a police officer or indeed referring to the officer as a "pleb" (as I've been tempted to swear at a copper or two myself when faced with dim-witted, uniformed, regulatory dogma) but one is left with the feeling that he subsequently tried to lie and cover up what he'd done in order to save his political career and that's just cowardly. I'd have had a lot more time for him if he'd issued a statement saying....

"Yes, the officer concerned was acting like a fucking officious pleb and so I told him so. If I paid any tax on the millions I've got stashed away I'd have reminded him that I'm paying his fucking wages too! I'd had a long hard day in the Commons ensuring that MPs follow the party line and don't get to vote their conscience and I was particularly annoyed that I had to cycle home on my fucking bike to keep up the appearance of following the green agenda when I've got a perfectly good Bentley in the garage. Mind you, if I'd come in the Bentley, the cunt would probably have booked me for parking on a double yellow!"

Yes, he does look like a bit of a wanker doesn't he?

21st October 2012


It seems there are now only about 6 women in the UK who the late Jimmy Savile didn't fiddle with when they were underage teenagers!! No doubt they'll come forward now that the compensation cases are starting. The evidence would seem to point to the fact that Savile did behave improperly and, like many people of power and influence (particularly those in the public eye), abused his position. I'm certainly not defending Jimmy Savile's actions but it is interesting to note that half of the cases wouldn't have been illegal in France where the age of consent is 15. Let's not mention Italy (age 14), Spain (age 13) or Mexico (age 12!!!). It is also interesting to note how quickly someone can descend from hero to villain after their death and I'm still a little puzzled as to why some of the victims didn't come forward previously. The trick now will be to determine who are the genuine victims and who are the ones jumping on the bandwagon for financial reasons.

As stated, I don't defend or condone what Savile allegedly did but I do think that smashing up his gravestone and exhuming his body is a bit of an over-reaction. What are 'they' going to do... feed what's left of his body to the pigs? The lynchmob mentality is never very far from the surface it seems. .

20th October 2012


I'm going to have to stop accepting social engagements; I seem to be losing the ability to interact peacefully with other people. There's just too much anger and frustration in me. Another weekend away (a music festival) and another bust up with friends. The argument was about nothing of consequence but highlighted that I've got less and less in common with some people who previously were on the same wavelength. It's another nail in the coffin lid of that friendship. At this rate no-one will be talking to me but I'm beginning to think that's not a bad thing!

14th October 2012


1st October 2012


I'm getting closer to the Answer. I've just had a period of abstinence and meditation, followed (deliberately) by an episode of drink-fuelled self-abuse. Pathways in my brain are beginning to open which were previously closed. The picture is coming out of the fog. It seems that I'm not the problem - it's nearly everyone else who's insane. As Mark Twain said...."Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other; it will unriddle many riddles...."

22nd September 2012


Another day; another kick in the balls!

18th September 2012


Anyone who believes that their religion is worth killing for should start with themselves.

17th September 2012


I've become quite a fan of Russell Brand recently. His documentary about drug addiction, treatment and rehabilitation was a little simplistic but its authenticity springs from the fact that Russell is, himself, a rehabilitated addict. I get the impression that the guy truly wants to help and make a difference when he could just as easily sit back and enjoy his comparative wealth and fame. That's rare in the world of celebrity and although there's no doubt in my mind that RB is an insecure (self-confessed) fame junky, he's at least trying to use his fame to help others who have the same addiction which he previously suffered from and has now had the strength of character to recover from - with help, of course.

A further piece of viewing which showed Brand in a good light was his interview with Jeremy Paxman. Even Paxo seemed impressed and surprised.

I've also recently watched a BBC debate on drugs policy and treatment in the UK and Russell Brand was on the panel along with Peter Hitchens - the Daily Mail journalist. Hitchens's view on drug de-criminalisation and the treatment of offenders is diametrically opposed to that of Brand. Both previously appeared before the Home Affairs Select Committee regarding UK Drugs Policy but Hitchens questioned Brand's credentials for giving evidence. I won't say which side of the fence I came down on in their (too brief) televised debate.

I read Hitchens's column in the Daily Mail (god help me!) and I very nearly (for only the 2nd time in my life) wrote a letter of complaint to a national newspaper (but my first and only one was to the Daily Mail too and that didn't end well). Hitchens referred to Brand as an "alleged comedian". I wonder how he'd react if he were referred to as an "alleged journalist"?

There are those who say that Peter Hitchens is the less talented brother of the recently deceased (very talented and deeply alcohol addicted) polemicist Christopher Hitchens. Peter's a former left wing, trotskyite, atheist, card-carrying Labour Party member who appears now to be a right wing, God-fearing, Christian, former Tory party member. (??? is he schizophrenic or just easily led?)

There are those who say that Peter Hitchens is a Victorian, Headmaster-ish, narrow-minded, condescending, patronising, right-wing, self-appointed moral guardian and a self-important, arrogant, bigoted, humourless, cold-hearted twat. I would disagree.... I don't know him well enough to say whether he's humourless.

Russell Brand 2011 Peter Hitchens

28th August 2012


The late, great Sir James Wilson Vincent Savile OBR KCSG - DJ, entertainer, philanthropist and all-round 'good egg' (and, scandalously, an alleged groomer of post-pubescent teenage girls). He was, it is claimed, the first disc jockey to ever use two turntables to ensure continuous music - today's club mixers take note and be thankful to the Master!

His name's spelt incorrectly on this t-shirt but the application of his trademark catchphrase to the space/time flow conundrum just amused me. If not for the mis-spelling, I might even have bought one.

How I feel at the moment

27th August 2012


I have two alien creatures living in my legs. I've often wondered why they chose to live there rather than, say, my lungs or my head. They don't talk much - even to each other - although they might be talking when I'm asleep. I think they're young and haven't learned how to communicate with me yet. Or maybe they never will and I'm nothing more to them than a convenient and temporary host.

26th August 2012


Words of wisdom from Bob. A Philosopher and a relationship counsellor - Impressive!

26th August 2012


I just can't see the justification for us being in Afghanistan (or Iraq).

The stats below are slightly out of date - the death toll for British forces is now well over 400 and there is likely to have been a proportionate increase in the civilian deaths too. So senseless!. I admire and respect the guys who do the job but I loathe and detest the weasily politicians who commit them to something which is so clearly wrong.

Oh shit!

25th August 2012


Julian Assange - SO MUCH I could say.... That little, limelight-grabbing twat William Hague says Assange is not being let out of the UK under any circumstances (irrespective of the cost to the taxpayer of policing his embassy exile). George Galloway has put his two-pennyworth in and has been misinterpreted (as is often the case with George) about the whole 'rape' issue. The OAS (Organisation of American States) - which politically includes the USA - is wholeheartedly supportive of the Equadorian (hypocrite!) President's stance (because the Latins don't like the UK - of course that's nothing to do with the death toll in the Falkland's War and the anachronistic insistence on retaining sovereignty of the (12,739 kilometer/ approx 8000 mile distant) Malvinas (which, in turn, is nothing to do with the fact that the Falklands is a gateway to valuable mineral deposits in Antartica). It's a good job Blair's not still in power as he'd be 'sexing-up' a dossier now with Campbell and Mandelson based on "intelligence" which confirms that the Equadorians have chemical weapons in the London Embassy or the missile capability to hit Blighty within 20 minutes and we'd be at war and launching another 'Thatcher' task-force!

Meanwhile, the real issue is that Assange should face charges in Sweden (where, unlike many other European countries, sex without a condom is considered rape) and I truly believe that he should answer those charges. If the Swedes would just publicly state that he WILL NOT be extradited to the USA, then all the smokescreen would be wiped away and I would support the notion that he should go back to Sweden (and no doubt marshal more by way of legal support than I would ever be able to afford) to either be convicted or exhonorated. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND A RAPE CHARGE BECAME INTERTWINED. Rape is, next to murder and child abuse, the most abhorrent crime imaginable and personally, I'd chemically (or physically) castrate anyone proven guilty of such a defiling of another human being. However, we need to be careful - unlike the recent Obama 'declaration' that "rape is rape", there ARE shades of grey here. Most rapes - the experts will confirm - are nothing to do with sex; they're to do with domination, power, violence and, above all, anger. Julian Assange having an early morning second go at it - having allegedly already slept with the woman the night before (or Mike Tyson having sex with a woman who willingly accompanied him back to his hotel room at 04.00) is a little different to someone donning a black balaclava and dragging a random female behind a wall and violently defiling her. I do agree that "NO" means "NO" (except in Hollywood-produced films where often, it seems, "no" actually means "yes") but any rational Jury would accept that there are degrees and the number of false allegations of rape these days is really quite worrying. God help any man who has to defend himself against such an accusation in this 'guilty until proven innocent (and even then the stigma sticks)' society in which we now live.

 In order to retain any personal credibility, Julian Assange should put himself in front of a Swedish court but let's not have his trial (and conviction or acquital) undermine the work which Wikileaks does which I truly believe is in the best interests of us all.

25th August 2012


How I feel at the moment

25th August 2012


I think I've figured out that all anyone wants or needs in life (intellectually speaking), is 3 things:

Understanding

Affection

Appreciation....

I get all of them in large measure... so why is it never quite enough??? I don't even understand myself so what hope is there for anyone else? I'm extremely happy with my life and the people in it. I couldn't construct anything better and yet I'm still restless and unsettled. Maybe I take pleasure in the discontent? (Or maybe I'm just bonkers.)

7th August 2012


That's it! I'm officially sick of the Olympics and frankly, I don't give a toss how many medals Team GB win as, at the end of the day, it doesn't do anything to significantly change this cock-eyed World of ours for the better (although I do have to admit to a strange fascination with the Nation's new 'golden girl', Jessica Ennis. I can't recall ever having fancied any woman with more muscles than me before - Ha! If she were as cerebral and articulate as she is a capable Heptathelete, she'd be quite an impressive specimen). Seriously though, I grudgingly admire all the participants and especially the medal winners; there are some 7 billion people on this planet and to get to the top of your game athletically, however fleetingly, is quite an achievement. Well done to all of them.

What really troubles me about the Olympics is the fact that they all compete under a flag. No-one should hold faith to a flag and no man should care for politics either as it is only the tool of a manipulator. We should all strive to make the World a better place without the need for such territorial and political badges.

7th August 2012


My biggest problem is that I can't just experience what life throws at me.... I have to try to understand it too. That's not working out too well for me.

6th August 2012


Iíve been on this planet for more than nine of their centuries and I still donít understand these beings. That time is but a blink of an eye for my kind but still it sometimes feels too long and I want to go home. I cannot intervene, I can only observe and I become increasingly weary watching them seemingly go nowhere.

Things began promisingly. There are many of the right forces here Ė they love, they laugh; they have poetry and art; they can be creative and inventive - but for some reason, they canít see the Field.

They are primitive and have become captured in their physical bodies and weighed down to their insignificant planet. They think that what lies before them is all they have to experience and their narrow range of senses is the only way they can feel and be part of the Universe. They have much to learn but appear caught in a developmental loop from which they seem unlikely to escape.

If it were not forbidden, if I could only show them the smallest fraction of what I have seen elsewhere, they might begin to understand. The Field is all around them waiting to be used but they are either blind or refuse to see.

They grow like a fungus on the planet, unchecked save for their own partial self-destruction in war and disease. They band together in small groups and fight each other and have not yet realised that they are all the same. They kill other life and each other and ignore the strength of oneness.

Half of their world exists in comfort whilst the other half dies of starvation or pestilence. They exhibit unaccountable allegiance to arbitrary geographical boundaries and are selfish and greedy to the point of taking resources from those of their fellow beings who are too weak to prevent themselves being defiled.

Their spirituality and religious beliefs could eventually provide a path to the Field but strangely, those beliefs seem to fragment the species rather than unite it. My predecessor judged that these beings showed promise but they have yet to develop as we had believed they might. I hold out little hope for them without some cataclysmic shift and I admit to myself that I want to risk everything by intervening but of course, I cannot. I am abandoned here and cannot go home until they cease to exist or become one with the Field. I used to care for these beings but now I just want to return home even if it means their extinction.

2012.214


Centrica is making profit at the rate of £2million per DAY!

Prices for Gas and Electricity have gone up by an average of 23% over the last year and last time I checked, utilities such as this were classed as essentials rather than luxuries. A poxy fuel allowance for some poor old bastard hunched over one bar of an electric fire to stave off hypothermia this Winter is nothing more than a disingenuous PR exercise by our masters in government.

It does rather highlight the question of whether the provision of essential services should ever have been privatised and although the management and shareholders are undoubtedly pleased, I am forced to conclude that (and I use the word as I can think of none more fitting) the people at Centrica are all TWATS!!!!

30th July 2012


I watched the Olympics opening ceremony yesterday with the same trepidation as a parent when they watch their child in their first school play - ("Please don't mess up, please don't embarass yourself, please be good! If you can't be good just don't be crap!") China was always going to be a hard act to follow but I have to say that Danny Boyle did the best that could have been expected with the historical material at his disposal. I'm not entirely sure that many non-British observers would have understood all of the themes which were intended to typify British achievements and way of life but I have to admit that overall, the production was engaging and impressive (in a reserved, British sort of way of course). What was disappointing was that it threw into focus the fact that, following the Industrial Revolution, we've nothing really to boast about other than our music scene (which owes a lot to black American influences anyway) and Mr Bean! For years I've been expounding the view that this country is past its prime and is now in decline and the lack of material regarding post-colonial British achievements, sadly, proves my point.

I'm a bit of an anti-monarchist at the best of times but anyone would agree that the Queen was an embarassment and was positively ignorant - especially when 'Team GB' paraded past. She looked as though she didn't want to be there and based on last night's performance I definitely think it's time she was pensioned off. Also, Paul McCartney should have the sense to retire himself as his redition of 'Hey, Jude' was absolute shite. No-one would question the contribution which the Beatles and the songwriting talents of Lennon & McCartney have made to the music world but 'Macca's' performance was fucking awful. Those reservations aside, although I'm normally anything but patriotic, I thought the ceremony was pretty good. It wasn't mesmerising but at least it wasn't the total embarassment I had feared.

28th July 2012


I've just read something in a women's magazine (I do read 'em sometimes as it might one day help me to figure out the fairer sex!) advertising a clitoral stimulator - something called 'tingletip' (www.tingletip.com). I laughed out loud for a good 10 minutes as it's £9.99 for what appears to be a slightly modified electric toothbrush head. It seems I'm now redundant - I'm not unskilled in that department but I would never try to compete with a fully charged Oral B!!!

no, it's not a toothbrush head, it's a sex toy!

27th July 2012


"The more we learn, the more we become mired in the ignorance of the Educated."

"I have seen the truth and it makes no sense to me."

"When injustice becomes Law, rebellion and revolution become one's obligation."

"Alcohol is only palliative care. Terminal reality always grows back and ravages the mind."

Cryptic?... Yes. Resonant?... Certainly. Profound?... Without a doubt, but who said these things? I'm buggered if I can remember!

26th July 2012


I wish David Beckham and his spindly, anorexic, talentless, po-faced wife would just fuck off back to America.

Apparently, a special Team GB Olympic role has been created for our David but no-one can speak of it as it will spoil the surprise. Ooooohhh, I can't wait. The shameless way that "Golden Balls" has tried to worm his way into the Olympic limelight is as puzzling as it is embarrassing.

My prediction is that Beckham will one day soon get a Knighthood and, as far as I'm concerned, if that happens, that's it - I'm finished with this fucking country!

25th July 2012


I see that the Queen has recently had dinner to celebrate her Diamond Jubilee with the current and three former Prime Ministers - John (Grey Man I may be but I shagged Edwina Curry) Major, Tony (War crimainal and The Anti-Christ - but I'll pretend to be a Catholic) Blair, Gordon (I'm such a frugal Scot I sold off all the Gold Reserves under value) Brown and David (I relate to the common man and I feel your pain but I really like the sticky bun fights in the dormitory) Cameron.

Where are the fucking suicide bombers when you need them?

Only kidding.... I love 'em really.

Blair (who now allegedly earns around £20 million a year and is on the payroll of more than one investment bank) says we shouldn't hold bankers to account for recent financial scandals (not to mention criminal rate-rigging) as this would somehow reverse the benefits of the free market developed in the Thatcher years.

The Queen has recently said that we must all accept austerity measures. Not too difficult for her when she's paid £8 million each year directly from the taxpayer and the Royals have between them 700 servants, 6 palaces and draw over £500 million!

Cameron ("call me Dave") is desperately trying to be a pop-PM but he's a bit of a joke on both International and national stages and has done nothing constructive to address any of the pressing issues of the day.

All in all, I'm beginning to think Major wasn't all that bad (and his (now -ex) daughter-in law, Emma Noble was quite fit too!)

24th July 2012


I mourn the passing of Lonesome George. The Pinta Island (Galapagos) Giant Tortoise was the last of his kind and his death on 25th June (aged 100) represents the extinction of a subspecies which is believed to date back over 10 million years.

The Galapagos Islands are Equadorian territory and Equadorian officials today announced that George was to be enbalmed and put on display.

Maybe, when he eventually overstays his welcome in their London Embassy (where he's been since 19th June), they'll enbalm and display Julian Assange too? Or they could just hand him over to the USA (via Sweden) and we'll never see him again!

Two tragedies - one the extinction of a subspecies; the other the supression of free speech.

28th June 2012


Euro 2012?.... Yawn!

Fucking football! Entertainment for the brain-dead, moronic masses. Primitive, nationalistic, tribal bollocks! Wankers in the crowd waving little plastic flags and painting their faces. Loads of Greeks there supporting their National team; why aren't they at fucking work?

Have I made my feelings clear or am I being too obtuse?

12th June 2012


Been away for a bit of a 'cultural' weekend - RSC at Stratford and the production of Richard III. The guy who played Richard was Jonjo O'Neill (not the racehorse trainer/jockey!) and he was absolutely FUCKING BRILLIANT! Such a talent. So impressed! Google him - the actor, not the trainer - and go and see whatever he's in! Anyway, changing the subject, on the following day, (nothing to do with Richard III or Shakespeare or even Jonjo), one of my friends and I got into an argument about patriotism and whether he was "proud" of being British (which he aggressively stated he most definitely was). I feel quite strongly that this feeling of Nationalistic pride (which is now being coaxed out even more by the forthcoming Queen's Jubilee) is rather irrational and misplaced. I can well understand how someone would be 'proud' of their own acheivements or those of family members. I can even see how someone might be impressed or insipred by acheivements of the British before we became a joke (eg - the Victorian era when we were producing/building stuff and when we still had an Empire - however morally questionable such an Empire might have been). What I can't understand is how someone can be "proud" of being British when their birth here is totally random and they have played no individual part in the past glories of this country. Flag waving, international boundaries, cultural peculiarities and tribalism are responsible for much hatred and killing in the World and need to be abandoned or questioned rather than dogmatically adhered to. If my friend had been born in Afghanistan, would he have been 'proud' of being an Afghan? If he'd been born in Ethiopia, would he have been 'proud' of starving to death?? Misplaced 'pride' in a society or ideology which the individual has had no part in influencing seems a little moronic to me. Put the Union Jacks away guys. Stop looking back to the colonial days and taking peverse credit for the brutal acquisitions of yesteryear. In short, don't be a sheep!

In the group I was in when this debate took place, I was, (as is often the case), shouted down. It matters not - they're all fucking wrong.

27th May 2012


Pudsey the dog winning Britain's Got Talent and £500,000 eh? A dog for fuck's sake!! No wonder the Germans are frightened of us; I'm becoming a little bit scared of this country myself.

20th May 2012


Still no comms from anywhere. That's ok, maybe I'm alone in the Universe and the personal construct which I have surrounded myself with has temporarily diluted to the point where I can't send myself any more imaginary messages. Whether real or imagined, I find myself a little confused due to recent events. I'm doing too much wishful thinking; if it's real, the odds are against it. If it's imaginary, I'm bound to mess it up! Fuck it - I'm off to Spain for a while.

Just in case I'm inclined to be sensible (which I have a disturbing tendancy towards sometimes) I remind myself that... No-one ever looks back on their lives and remembers the times they had a good night's sleep. Rock 'n' roll beaatches!

19th May 2012


I really do hate it (see my "Things which piss me off" page below) when I send a message by text or email to someone and then have to wait and wait and wait for a reply which may never come. Did my message get through? Was the tone as I intended? Have I embarassed myself? Have I upset the recipient (who may have misinterpreted the tone and my sentiments)? Did I sound too needy/sarcastic/confrontational/insecure/desperate? Were my attempts at humour read literally and therefore have been taken as offensive?

Whilst I'm bouncing all of these concerns around in my head (and, of course, checking my phone or laptop EVERY 5 minutes to see if I've got a reply) the recipient is probably getting on with much more important things in their lives - blissfully unaware (or worse still, unconcerned) that I'm left hanging. When will I learn? I'm just going to have to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve and sharing my personal thoughts and wake up to the realisation that people (and even friends) just don't actually get me (and I shouldn't be surprised as I'm not sure I even understand myself!) Now.... if I can just show enough willpower to switch off my phone and power down the laptop.....

19th May 2012


Russell Brand appeared yesterday before the Home Affairs Select Committee chaired by Labour MP Keith Vaz. Brand had been invited to give evidence to MPs who were reviewing the Government's 'drugs strategy' (How's that working out for ya, eh?).

I've never been a fan of Russell Brand. In fact, I thought he was a bit of a self-important, talentless twat but I am definitely beginning to warm to the man. Keith Vaz is, in my humble opinion, a self-righteous, limelight-grabbing, bandwagon-jumping, self-promoting, media whore (which I guess is what it takes to make it in politics these days) and even before I began to change my opinion about Brand, if I'd been faced with a choice of which one of the two to rescue from a burning building, it would have been the despicable little KV who would've ended up charred round the edges.

Anyway, Russell Brand is former heroin addict and therefore can speak with some authority on the subject of drugs and addiction. He ran rings around the stuffy old politicians and spoke powerfully and personally about what it's like to be drug-dependent and the despair, lonliness and depression which often takes people on a path to addiction. Despite the serious message which I thought he delivered convincingly, his performance was that of a showman and he totally upstaged the wannabe-pop politician Vaz. The serious message was that the current drugs policy clearly wasn't working and that decriminalizing drugs and redeploying the considerable savings into education and rehabilitation might be a more intelligent tactic. Drug addicts don't care about the illegality of drugs - they're addicts and will source drugs irrespective of the legal status of their activity. I wholeheartedly agree with Brand's views. Vaz and his cronies know nothing of the world outside their select circle and yet, under this flawed democratic system to which we are all subject, they are able to legislate concerning subjects which they don't understand and have never experienced. Personally, I'd put people like Russell Brand in charge of Government policy on drugs.

On the comedic side of his performance, Brand insisted on calling the Chairman "Keith" and most of the other committee members "Mate" which clearly upset them and therefore wins my approval and admiration. Towards the end of the proceedings, Keith Vaz - who was clearly losing control of the meeting - rather huffily said "We'll have to move along Mr Brand - we're running out of time." to which the quick-witted Brand replied "Time is infinite, Keith. We can't run out of it!" Priceless!! With performances like this, Russell Brand could well become one of my heroes.

25th April 2012


I'm going to have to re-order the particles in my Universe to arrive at a better outcome. I'll start tomorrow.

Haud praecepta nisi mea ipse et numquam satis.

22nd April 2012


Middle-aged men really can be bigger idiots than their younger counterparts. I'm living proof! Everything in life is a test - I just failed an important one. I over-think things to the point of being self-defeating. I'm such a fool that it would almost be amusing if it weren't so tragic.

20th April 2012


What is it that makes the launch of an Indian mid-range nuclear warhead capable missile (nicknamed the China Killer) acceptable to the West whilst the attempted launch of an apparently non-military satellite by the North Koreans provokes howls of outrage?

19th April 2012


Well, it's official. Scientists have determined that alcohol is actually good for the intellect. Apparently, it blocks the analytical part of the brain thereby allowing more creative thinking to take place. I knew it all along; I get terribly creative when I've had a drink - even to the point of forming an opinion, which I'm prepared to fight to defend, on a subject about which I know absolutely NOTHING! (Even when I'm sober, I never let lack of knowledge get in the way of my expressing an opinion. Haha!!) Now... if that's what alcohol can do, just think what super-human cerebral powers harder drugs might tap into, eh? Entheogens here I come... I think I owe it to my fellow Man to give it a try (and if I don't unravel the mysteries of the Universe at the first attempt, I'll have to keep trying!)

1st April 2012


God is becoming as irrelevant to me as I seem to be to him. I'm approaching a crossroads and can hardly see the road ahead through the grey. Should I slow down or floor the accelerator?

29th March 2012


Seems like the only time I write anything on my Blog is when I'm partially (or totally) inebriated.... and so it is tonight! I feel like a rant but I'm not quite sure what to rant about (there's SO MUCH, I don't know where to begin!) I heard someone define Democracy today .... "Where two morons can out-vote one genius". That just about summed it up for me. This is the Political and Social system we're trying to force upon the 'uncivilised' Middle-East??? What we actually need is a system where everyone is 'intelligence tested' and if they're found to be below acceptable levels**, they shouldn't be allowed to vote. Also, ALL politicians should be independent rather than representing a party - a 'party' is simply a tribe and tribalism is the main reason (apart from oil of course) why people are still killing each other in masses in this modern world in which we live. Another selection criterion for politicians ought to be that they receive no pay and that they are doing what they do purely for altruistic reasons. That would stop the fuckers fiddling their expenses - there'd be NO EXPENSES!!! Ha! I'm going to publish my Manifesto soon and if anyone e-mails me in support, I swear, I'll stand for the next local elections!

**(Who decides what are "acceptable" levels of intelligence. Me of course! Meglomania rules OK)

4th February 2012


I've been reading quite a lot about quantum physics recently and I really like the concept of the 'Multiverse' which favours the theory of an infinite number of universes. I have hopes that perhaps there's a Universe somewhere in which I don't always behave like a complete arsehole!

28th December 2011 (and about to transition into a new year feeling imperfect, insecure and a little unappreciated)


That's it. I'm off to Kepler 22

28th December 2011


(In no particular order) Kike cracker nigger wop slint coon frog honkey wog slope paki chink dago camel-jockey kraut ghost paddy jock jigaboo muzzer raghead whitey - poof lesbo queer dyke paedo homo - fuck shit twat cunt wank piss bitch bastard toss. I'm sure there are many other 'offensive' or supposedly 'racist' words out there but I think I've gathered enough to make a point.

I actually have no idea why certain words appear to have a power and a significance which other words don't. 'Swearing' is a rather strange concept, don't you think?? Words which differ by only one consonant are deemed socially unacceptable compared to words which are 'ordinary'. Racism shouldn't be determined by what's said but more by what's done. Isn't everyone getting a little oversensitive? We've not had slavery for a few generations now and we have a person of colour (but I daren't call him coloured, dare I?) as President of the United States (arguably the most powerful man in the World). The Jews run Hollywood and much of American politics and Homosexuals vitually monopolise showbusiness. Frankly, I don't give a fuck (and yes, I'm using the word for emphasis rather than to be offensive) whether someone is black, brown, yellow, red or green. I also genuinely don't care if they're straight or queer, old or young, male or female, tall or short as long as they're decent people who are contributing to the society I'm a part of in as determined a way as I am trying to do. Why, oh why, can't we just all get along and embrace the differences? I know I'm not black and I'm hetrosexual so you may say I'm speaking from a position of priviledge but for fuck's sake, get the chip off your shoulder. The "Let my people go" shit is beginning to wear thin. Stop the tribal bollocks and let's try to act as one people, one culture, one species, without primative pejudices, hangups and taboos. If we can't get there, I'm afraid the long-term outlook for Humankind is less than favourable.

27th December 2011


I've just read a newspaper article about a single mother of 3 young children boasting about that fact that she's going to be spending £3200 on presents and entertaining this Christmas (£400 for a New Year's Eve party for her friends!) and that all of it is paid for by Benefits payments. This lazy, fat, (obviously fat as she sits on her arse all day) fucking cow of a sad excuse for a human being believes that she's as entitled to enjoy Christmas as anyone who works for a living and has no hesitation in rubbing everyone else's nose in her State funded extravagance. Whilst I have no wish to deny her happiness, I am somewhat concerned about the fact that she seems to have fallen pregnant, not once, but THREE times (probably to different men) and this apparent lack of self-control is financially rewarded by the provision of free individual accomodation and a NET income of some £18,000 per annum. I'm not suggesting that single mothers be thrown out on the street and have their children taken into care but WHERE'S THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ONE'S OWN ACTIONS. The idea of an automatic entitlement to benefits of this magnitude (which far exceed the income levels attained by many good, honest people who work hard for a living) seems to be sending the wrong message to the young, poorly educated X-Factor generation. SOMEONE has to pay for all this and there's absolutely no incentive for this young woman to get off her backside and go to work when she can sit back, watch daytime television and wait for the benefits payments to roll in. What's even more disconcerting is that her kids will grow up in a dependency culture, fully expecting (as their lazy fucking Mother has shown them) to be provided for by the State and the problem grows and is perpetuated. Last time I checked, the 'State' had no money and can only generate revenue through more and more punitive taxes which they then misappropriate. I'm getting close to blowing my stack. I would normally not wish another human being any harm but, for the good of Society, I hope this lazy, selfish bitch (and all the other fucking parasites) choke on their Christmas turkey dinner!!

6th December 2011


Angela Merkel is an evil genius!! She's fast becoming my hero.The Germans have allowed the Eurozone crisis to develop to the point where it all looks like it's going to unravel and we're all doomed and then she'll come in at the last minute with a "this is the only way" speech and the rest of Europe will concede power and sovereignty to the Fourth Reich. Roll on a Federal Europe. The Germans can't fuck up our lives any more than UK Governments have done and at least I won't have to worry about Sterling continuing to fall in value against the supposedly weaker Euro. I just hope the UK isn't given a referendum as all the brain-dead nationalists in this country will vote against us being a part of it and we'll be left out in the cold in our underpants!

30th November 2011


I don't want to sound like a smartass but I've always thought that the conclusion drawn from Einstein's General Theory of Relativity - namely, that the speed of light (186,282 miles per second) cannot be exceeded, was flawed. I just don't like the concept of 'unbreakable' limits. I DO like the idea of limitless development, up and down - for example, they've now discovered that what was previously thought to be the smallest part of an atom actually has its own constituent parts ( a quark is a particle of a Hadron - the most stable of which are the neutrons and protons of atoms).

The scientists at the Large Hadron Collider in Cern have accidentally discovered that neutrinos have travelled from A to B marginally FASTER than the speed of light. The results have to be checked and the experiment has to be replicated by others to verify the findings but, all of a sudden, the scientific community is prepared to accept that Einstein could be wrong, This is good. This is groundbreaking. This is the same as Roger Bannister breaking the 4 minute mile which everyone said couldn't be done (afterwards, once people KNEW it could be done, a number of runners ran a sub-4 minute mile and today, it's commonplace).

This dicovery that the speed of light could be exceeded doesn't put bread on my table and it doesn't directly change my life but it shows that we have the capacity to keep breaking boundaries. I truly couldn't be happier!

22nd September 2011


For some reason, I've started putting my pants on left leg first - I've also started picking things up with my left hand, even though I'm right-handed. Not quite sure what's tickling new parts of my brain - probably the fact that the normal parts are now non-functioning due to excessive alcohol.

September 2011


Can't help thinking that what's happened in Libya is just plain wrong. Yes Gaddafi was (is?) a crackpot dictator but the World's full of 'em and NATO don't start a bombing campaign based on that alone. If they did, why aren't they bombing Assad in Syria and why aren't there a series of United Nations resolutions supposedly protecting the 'people' from their leaders in numerous African and South American countries? (By the way, the UN is now, in my eyes, a joke, after sanctioning the prosecution of an illegal war in Iraq and this latest debacle in Libya promoted by spoiled public schoolboy Cameron and that little stack-heel tosspot Sarkosy - both of whom would like to be seen on the International stage to divert attention away from their domestic political and economic problems). I've no doubt that when Gaddafi is caught he'll be tried and hanged barbarically like Saddam Hussein. The West will say that he's been judged by his own people but nothing will happen without our approval and frankly, I think we should be ashamed of ourselves given that this is not at all about 'liberating' the Libyan people but much more to do with oil and extending the West's power base in the Middle-East. We need to be careful meddling in these areas - we haven't a clue who the Rebels forming the NTC in Libya actually are and I think it's highly likely that when sham 'democratic' elections are eventually held in Libya, it will be the hard-line, anti-West Muslims who fill the vacuum. I truly hope I'm wrong.

Post script - William Hague the UK Foreign Secretary has today (28-08-11) indignantly rejected the offer from Gaddafi to form a joint governing body with the rebels. Forgive me for being dense but what the FUCK has this got to do with a UK Foreign Secretary. I have never seen such misplaced arrogance and it makes me ashamed to be British. The days of the Empire are gone Mr Hague. It's time to recognise that this country has been in decline since the Victorian era passed and we're fast becoming an international joke. Don't make it worse by being a conceited little prick!

August 2011


There's no doubt that there were some opportunists taking advantage of the latest ** UK riots to get themselves a new pair of trainers or a new flatscreen 3D TV. There's also little doubt that the initial flashpoint was the police shooting of Mark Duggan in Tottenham and the typically poor communications with the black community in the aftermath of that shooting. What worries me, however, is not the spark that ignited this civil unrest but the amount of tinder and kindling to which the flames spread. The Powers-that-be can blame youth fecklessness and Facebook and Twitter all they like but that fails to acknowledge the degree to which there is a deep undercurrent of disaffection and dissatisfaction in the Britain of 2011 - not just among the young people but across all age ranges - (My Dad is in his 80s and expresses more anti-establishment feelings and is more restless than at any time in his life!). We maintain that we are now a 'classless' Society and I think it's safe to say that the days of the Gentry and Nobility versus the Commoners have changed over the last Century (The Second World War had a significant influence on this). However, we must not fool ourselves into thinking that we are now a socially-enlightened, classless, altruistic, community-spirited country. Three distinct 'classes' seem to have developed:

1. The power brokers - politicians, entrepreneurs, the wealthy (even the stupidly, disproportionately paid footballers and entertainers seem to direct our lives). Money, power and influence are inextricably linked - if you have enough of one, the rest follows. Anyone with enough money appears to be outside the rules which are supposed to apply to all of us. These people live in a bubble and have no idea what real life is like and yet it is they who determine how our Society runs. Few of them are people of humility, integrity and vision and most are self-promoting, egotistical, selfish, power-hungry and greedy to the point where they are exactly the wrong sort of people to hold positions of authority. It has been said that anyone who seeks a position of authority should automatically be disqualified from holding one. These people lend weight to that idea.

2. The people who were once classed as working class but who now see themselves as middle class. The chattering masses; Middle England. They've nearly paid off the mortgage on their 3 bed, semi. He has a middle-management job and is in constant fear of redundancy. He drives a 4 year old BMW 3 series with a not-very-special personalised number plate. He hand washes the beemer every Saturday. He takes golf lessons at weekend. He 'jogs' even though he'll likely have a heart attack before he's 60 as he's slightly overweight, eats the wrong food and drinks too much wine and G&T. She has a part time job and goes to Yoga and French lessons twice a week. She's bordering on anorexia. She has her hair and her nails done regularly. She drives a 'green' car or a little town-car which she can't park at the local Sainsburys without dinging someone else's car door. She watches soaps and reads trashy women's magazines telling her all about the lives of celebrities and giving advice about achieving multiple orgasms or finding her G-spot alongside this week's 20 minute meal recipe from some celebrity chef. They give to Charity to appease their consciences without ever questioning why such charity is still necessary in today's world. They get shafted with Council Tax, speeding tickets, parking tickets, fines for leaving their bins out too long, fuel prices, inflation and insurance premiums. They take one foreign holiday each year of exactly 14 days duration and it's usually to the same place in Ibiza or the South of France. They both profess to be happy but they're really not and a sense of time running out pervades their day-to-day lives. They look back fondly on their University days. They always vote in Local and General Elections but they have a vague unease about whether it makes any difference if they only get to choose between a handful of candidates who neither insipre them nor represent their wishes and views. They read the Daily Mail and are concerned about the way the country's going but ... well, what can you do?? The kids have been sent to private school as they would never admit to being racist but they don't want little Jonny (sic) and little Samantha going to the local Comprehensive which has a 90% Pakistani, Indian, Afro-Carribean and Eastern European intake. The private education fees are cripplingly expensive but it'll be worth it if Jonny gets a job in the City and Sammy bags a wealthy playboy or footballer even though the kids will bang Mum and Dad in an old-folks home and only visit them Birthdays and Christmas, when inevitably Dementia or a Stroke means they can't look after themselves and, after a working lifetime of paying punitive taxes, National Insurance and VAT (all of which they've seen wasted and misappropriated by Government), the Local Authority puts a charge on the semi which they've now paid off and purloins the only significant asset they have to pay the care home fees.

3. The underclass. These are the poorly educated, largely forgotten sector of Society. They breed like rats. Their kids get pregnant at 14. They live off benefits and because there are now 3 generations of their family who have been benefit dependent, they know no different and see benefits as a right even though they've contributed little to the system. They read the Sun. They drink, smoke and use recreational drugs freely. They like a bet or two on the horses. They tend not to be monogamous and many families have siblings with a number of different Fathers. They have a deep-rooted suspicion of the Police and they have little regard for Authority. The chinless, retired ex-headteacher on a power trip who is the Chairman of the Magistrates bench which they are hauled before for driving without a licence or insurance and whilst over the drink-drive limit may as well be speaking a foreign language and come from another planet. They have undoubtedly been betrayed by the system but they have also been bred to take no responsibility for their own actions and to have no drive, self esteem or sense of worth. They don't plan for the future but live more day-to-day. They collect ASBOs as badges and petty criminality is the norm. They are growing in number and one day soon will become the majority.

Riots always start with the underclass. They are the ones who will take to the streets at the drop of a hat because they, largely, live in the streets. Violence and action rather than rhetoric and diplomacy comes naturally. They are growing in number and their discontent and resentment is growing too. They are tuned into hypocracy and are set no worthy example by tax-cheating Captains of Industry, empire-building bureaucratic officials, expenses-fiddling MPs, tax-exile celebrities or bent Coppers. They will, without doubt, riot again and if their numbers continue to grow in proportion to their growing discontent then we will one day soon see outright revolution in this country.

We've spent the last 50 years fucking up this country. Experimenting with education, stifling individuality, removing the manufacturing base, dismantling the Family unit, being too politically correct, pandering to minorities, interfering in international issues when we can't even get it right at home, encouraging greed and selfishness (Thatcher) - we are now beginning to pay the price for these failures. Some of our problems are now endemic and have crossed generations. It's going to take 100 years to put it right even if we start NOW and it would seem that no-one in authority has a clue how to start. I REALLY must win the Lottery soon so I can buy a small, uninhabited island and start my own Society!

** I say "latest" as I'm sure we'll (regrettably) see more of this type of ciivil disorder

August 2011


Just got a full tank of petrol in my car. £115.00!! It used to cost me £60 only a year or so ago. I'm thinking of going green and putting a mast and a sail on the roof.

July 2011


I was driving along the Motorway the other day and I saw a lorry which, along with the usual company logo etc, proudly fanfared the following phrase: "Driving considerately to reduce emissions." I'm not quite sure why, but that message, overflowing as it was with pious, self-righteousness, REALLY pissed me off. It somehow summed up what's wrong with this country. It reminded me that we are turning into a nation of limp-wristed, tree-hugging, spineless, risk-averse, namby-pamby, pussies! We're concentrating on the wrong things. No-one takes a risk anymore, we don't make anything, the evolutionary process has stopped and we're becoming dumbed-down, Health & Safety obsessed, politically correct wimps. The lorry in question was doing a steady 59 miles per hour in the middle lane of a 3-lane motorway and gradually easing past another lorry in the slow lane which was going 58.5 mph in a maneouvre which would probably take 2 weeks to complete. If I'd had an RPG, I'd have blown both the fuckers off the road but in the absence of a bazooka, grenade, flame thrower or any other suitable weapon I did the only thing which I could to vent my frustration... I dropped the gearstick into sport mode, unfastened my seat belt, pulled into the fast lane, turned up the music and floored the accelerator. I hit 115mph in short order and probably burned 50 quids worth of petrol. Fuck your "driving responsibly"! It felt good to know that I'd done my bit to move us closer to exhausting the World's fossil fuel. When there's no more oil, maybe the Yanks and the Camel jockeys will stop killing each other. As the lorries became too small to see in the rearview mirror, I dialled up the office on my mobile (which I DON'T have a hands-free kit for), slowed to a comfortable 95mph and felt a little better.

June 2011


The Only Way is Essex winning a BAFTA? Spoiled footballers shagging away and then obtaining super-injunctions? Pippa Middleton's bum? Cheryl Cole being sacked from the US X Factor. Astonishingly, these are apparently the burning issues of the day. Is there any intelligent life on this fucking planet?

May 2011


Can anybody tell me what the fuck we're doing interfering in Libya? It wouldn't have anything to do with oil would it?

April 2011


The Royal Wedding eh? Apparently, over 2 BILLION people will be watching it Worldwide!! I shall not be one of them. Our illustrious leaders have graciously given us an additional bank holiday to mark the joyous occasion. Great...another day when the self-employed can't earn anything. It's all bollocks. If William and Kate really love each other and want to get married then I wish them all the best but why, oh why do we have to have television coverage of the whole thing from 7 am on the day and unending Diana documentaries in the weeks leading up to the wedding? I'm so pissed off with seeing newspaper speculation about the guest list and what designer dresses will be worn and £25000 handbags carried by the pampered socialites attending that I'm actually beginning to hope it rains on them all! Thank god for DVDs and re-runs of Two and a Half Men on Comedy Central.

April 2011


Well, it's 2011. I certainly hope it's going to be a better year. It's not putting it too strongly to say that 2010 was absolute SHIT. However, 2011 is not getting off to the best start - I've not won the lottery yet, I've had to sell my aeroplane due to financial pressure and some friends who I thought were good people haven't even bothered texting me to wish me Happy New Year. Well happy go fuck-yourself new year to you too!

1st January 2011


I've not put anything on my blog for ages as I became quite bored with the whole thing. Posting innane personal details to a website began to seem silly and I've certainly lost almost all interest in the likes of Facebook and Twitter. I suspect my life's not particularly interesting - it even bores me most of the time. Nevertheless, writing certain things down may be theraputic and may help to vent the frustration which normal life inevitably causes from time to time. Who knows, it may even stop me from throwing myself off a bridge one day (or, more likely, throwing someone else off a bridge!).....I shall write something again when I'm sufficiently motivated but I've got a lot of issues to deal with at the moment (I might even write about them in due course).

September 2010